Josh- The Cowboy Rides Away - Final Part

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I was at late night shopping one night hanging out with a few friends when I saw a gay boy getting picked on, I decided to stand up for him. Security saw me as a part of them and they kicked us all out around the side and watched as they beat me up. 8 of them against me... I broke my ankle. If it wasn't for Jeremy and all his mates at the pub I don't know what would have happened (Jeremy's 3 years older then me and 18 is the legal drinking age here)

It was at this point where I realized how cruel this world was, especially towards me. All I had ever done was tried to help people and I was always kicked down no matter what I did... I grew such a hate for my counselor that I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire and she KNEW it. She was terrified of me... I began changing, I grew cold and hateful. Whenever someone asked for help I told them fuck off. When someone fucked with me or pushed me, I punched back. I'm a state champion at MMA and promised myself I wouldn't use it because of the damage I could cause. But I just didn't care anymore. I made friends with a group of people that lived in a 8 bedroom house. They use to host parties almost every week and we would be seen as security. If anyone fucked with us, we would pull out baseball bats, swords, hunting knives. The works... other gangs use to see us as a gang and we were the most feared people in the area. 

It's been 3 years since... I work delivering pizza, I'm still single. I have no education, I still smoke cigarettes. I have no compassion or care for humanity, I sleep in until 3pm and go to work, then come home, sleep and repeat. That's my life... When gay's say they hate Christians, they don't even KNOW!!! What hate is... When people say they hate people, they don't even come close to the feeling of hate I have. Apart of me died with Josh, and it's not coming back. I don't ever want to be hurt the way I was ever again and the best way to do that is to only trust yourself. Tell nobody anything about yourself and punch back when someone gives you in the smallest bit of shit.

I talked to Josh earlier this year, his girlfriend was fucking with his head and I drove out to see him. He got into smoking because of me (whoops) The night I talked to him he cried over her and as he had said, he hadn't cried in years...... the last time he did was the last day we saw each other 3 years ago. He was cold until we were friends again. Our relationship was gone... It's something that can't be recovered... But we were such good friends that he would sneak out every night and we would just talk about life while looking at the stars. I remember him in my room with my mate Jamie. He stole my seat so I said FINE THEN!!!! I sat on his lap, we didn't even find it awkward or weird. I sat there so long that he couldn't stand because he had no feeling in them. Josh finally saw life outside of school and how evil his parents were and religion. He was free... But then he got a new girlfriend... a girl named Tahlia.... Tahlia heard that we were still friends and she forbid him from seeing me. He said ok but still talked to me.... but she found out again, and by then he loved her and said fine..... I made him choose between bros or hoes. Even his best friends agreed, he should have chosen me... but he didn't. I told him if he chooses her this is the second time he's abandoned me and I won't stand it a 3rd. He hugged me tight and said he was sorry but this is his chance to feel loved again...

Tahlia is manipulating him, all his friends, his ex's see it. All his friends have left him because he's changed. And even Chloe is on my side, she now realizes what she did so many years ago as a child. I forgive her....... But I won't forget it... Josh messaged me just a few days ago saying that he's stuck up for me and that I've been spreading rumors and problems for Josh. I don't even know where these lies are coming from, but when I find them. They better run... I put the message out there that I know the rumors that are apparently coming from me, and when I find them... I will destroy their lives. Suddenly the rumors stopped, so it's one of the 800 friends in my friend's list on facebook.

But yeah.......

The End

CG