Making Trevor the Butt of the Jokes

 

  The English-speaking academy I attended down in Mexico required two years of Phys Ed. A typical boy got his PE credits in seventh and eighth grades, so Gym was well behind him when he entered high school. Back then PE meant the total physical education experience including see-and-be-seen nudity in the locker room and showers. We were English speaking boys of all nationalities whose parents were posted to Mexico by businesses or governments.

 The year I was in eighth grade Trevor, an older British high school student, joined us younger boys in PE because through some scheduling error he'd missed a year of gym. Since we seventh and eighth grade guys were totally in the majority we harassed the high school guy at every opportunity. He tried to one-up us by referring mysteriously to things like wanking, boners and cumshots, but most of us were already well aware of that stuff, so he still was not gaining any Street-Cred.

  We made life miserable for Trevor, first for being a junior taking eighth grade PE, second because his dick was hairy and sort of ugly, and third just because he was one of the unbearable Brits who acted superior to everybody else. We insulted Trevor no end, but to be honest he deserved it because he was such an insufferably smug subject of the Queen.

 One day a fight broke out in the showers, an actual physical brawl with Trevor at the center of it. He habitually put down Americans. This time he'd made some stupid remark about cow shit to a boy from Texas. All the American and Canadian boys jumped to the Texan's defense while a few Indian and Asian kids joined Trevor. Those who didn't take sides stood around in various states of undress while they watched and cheered. The showers were full of naked boys kicking, slugging and yelling. The coach got our attention by simply turning off the hot water. Suddenly the spray went cold. Everybody bailed out, grabbed a towel and went to our lockers. We Americans told Trevor what he could expect if he dissed one of us again. And that seemed to be the end of it.

 But: We were all getting dressed when a whiny British voice demanded, "Who's nicked my underpants?" Everyone expressed innocence. Trevor, holding his towel strategically around his waist, stomped to the coach's office and complained that his underwear had been stolen. We boys feigned sympathy: "Aww. Poor Trevor lost his shorts!" 

 The coach asked around, but nobody seemed to know anything. And to tell the truth, I think the coach was more amused than concerned. After Trevor spent a few minutes threatening and pleading and looking into lockers without success, coach loaned him a jock strap to snug-up his junk inside his trousers. Those of us getting dressed nearby took the liberty of staring at Trevor pulling the tight jock up his legs while his hairy high-school cock flopped around comically. A few comments were aimed at him: "Is the jock too tight, Trevor?" "Maybe your dick's too big, Trevor." "What if you get a boner!" He responded with a volley of cockney profanity. Meanwhile coach kept urging all of us to forget Trevor's boxers and get moving.

 Of course we had still not come to the end of the incident. Word circulated about Trevor's misfortune and he was assailed with jokes and laughter wherever he went. One guy asked "How's it hanging, Trevor? Oops, my mistake! I guess it's not hanging at all!" Another joke went "Any identifying marks, Trevor? Like cum stains?" Somebody suggested that Trevor use the public address system to describe his missing underpants to the entire school. There was a rumor that a good-looking young female teacher had asked Trevor, "Briefs or boxers?" but that was just a joke.

 All of that took place before noon. At each lunch period the Headmaster made a little speech about school spirit and our reputation, pleading for the missing "object" to be turned in. His results were zero. By afternoon classes, the entire academy was sidetracked over Trevor's missing underwear, including teachers. Even gardeners and cooks knew the story. It had become a major incident instead of the practical joke that it really was. Very little education took place. Some of the teachers speculated that a mass search of backpacks and lockers was next.

 I was in Science class when a code beeped from the PA speakers. We kids knew all the codes and this one meant "Custodian to the office immediately."

 Word spread: "Maybe they've found the missing underpants!" And it was true. A Mexican policeman driving past the Academy saw people on the sidewalk staring and pointing at the building. Following their gaze, he discovered something peculiar. The Policia located the school office and made a brief report.

 The boxers had indeed been found - flying from the school's flagpole two stories above the front doors, sharing airspace with the American Stars and Stripes.

 Poor Trevor; he remained the butt of underwear jokes for a long time, but it couldn't have happened to a  better man.

A s for me and some buddies, I'll never tell.

Arnold