Making the Pledge

When I was 12 almost 13 years old, a preacher came to my church for youth day, imagine about 400 maybe 500 kids primarily between the ages of 12 and 18 in a large church listening to a minister that is fairly young himself, mid twenties. At least half of us are boys and the speaker says that purity is important. He challenges us to take the "purity pledge". I was familiar with this pledge, I had actually taken a purity pledge a few months earlier but that pledge was all about no sex before marriage. I was 12, I didn't believe that I'd be getting any sex anytime soon so it was an easy pledge to take. This young preacher went a bit further and said we need to abstain from masturbation.

"You cannot be pure if you masturbate, it is lust, it is sin, it is no different than adultery. You cannot be pure if you masturbate."

He said that with such conviction that it scared me because I had my first ejaculation a few weeks earlier and I was jacking off at least 4 to 5 times a week. It was almost a nightly routine, the one thing I could count on to relax me enough to let me sleep if I had trouble sleeping. The one way to get my boner off my mind when it just wouldn't go down and stay down for any length of time. The only way I could keep lustful thoughts out of my head. I had reasoned to myself that masturbation was actually a good thing but this preacher was up there with such conviction and confidence telling us that it was a sin and that we needed to take this pledge and honor it.

"You take this pledge and honor it! And honor it! Purity is serious."

 

 As I write his words I can still remember authoritative how he sounded and all the other preachers and ministers standing behind him agreeing. The preacher calls us to line up and take this purity pledge and I see a line forming all preteens and teens both boys and girls. There were lots of boys lining up to take this pledge, probably outnumbered the girls up there, some people were crying, shaking. As I was looking at all these other young people I thought none of them were ever going to masturbate again. Peter the kid next to me, the walking bible who was about my same age, walked out into the aisle symbolizing that he was taking this purity pledge. I felt very compelled to do it but held onto the fact that I had taken a pledge already until the preacher said "maybe you've taken a pledge like this already- take it again, listen to that voice." It was like he was speaking only to me. I got into the aisle and by now it was crowded, I had no clue where Peter was but next thing I know I am repeating a pledge. "I will abstain from sexual impurity including..." and he listed quite a few things including pornography, thinking pornographic thoughts and of course masturbation.

I go home and I last about three days and I jack off. It was like my dick said "oh no buddy, you're not going to keep ignoring me" after I jack off I felt guilty asked for forgiveness and then the next day did it again, feel guilty ask for forgiveness and so on. That was the pattern for me and I'm thinking all these other kids 12 to 18 years old that went up for this pledge all just never masturbated again.

Weeks and weeks go by, I've already turned 13 and Peter turned 13 as well, I came to his house for a sleepover. This is not a story about me and Peter jacking off together but late that night I heard him in that quiet room jacking off. I could hear the bed squeak, the lotion squish, the heavy breathing, complete with the grunt at the end. Then he gets up and goes to the bathroom to wash his hands. I laid there in confusion, Peter who took the pledge right along with me, the walking and talking bible, indeed the consummate good kid had just masturbated in his room, thinking I was asleep.

In the morning he never mentioned anything. I went home and began to rethink things and felt that this preacher was wrong and it was natural. I jacked my dick without guilt from that point on.

RG