My parents became convinced that I was gay in part because of my best friend Timothy. We met in 6th grade and became very close from the first day we met. Tim was effeminate, he was into ballet and tap dancing, spoke in a high girlish voice but I got along with him better than anyone else and I enjoyed his company. My parents were very conservative in every way and did not like my friendship with Tim.
He still got to sleepover once and that may have further convinced my parents that I was gay or at least "struggling" with that issue. We got caught in the same sleeping bag and my mom made us sleep across the room from each other and keep the door open and the light on. We were in the same sleeping bag but nothing sexual was going on, the both of us were fully dressed not even in pajamas but jeans and a t shirt, we were acting silly not touching each other. My dad gave me a weird, vague talk about resisting certain urges.
Tim and I went to school together so aside from taking me out of school, there wasn't much my parents could do to stop our friendship but they could undermine it in other ways. On my 14th birthday my parents made me un-invite Tim from my birthday party, I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I told him it was cancelled. You can guess how that turned out when Tim found out the truth from someone else.
As my parents took steps to weaken my bond with Tim they also attempted to provide me with a new friend. Jacob was the opposite of Tim physically and in personality, whereas Tim was kind of short and thin for his age Jacob (16) was around 6 ft tall and muscular. Jacob played football, baseball and was on a wrestling team. We got along when we met but the connection with him was not like it was with Tim.
I think somehow it got out to Jacob that my parents thought I was dealing with homosexuality. It wouldn't have been that hard for that to happen, my dad spoke to his dad about everything, I think his dad might have spoken with his son about me.
I couldn't do sleepovers with Tim anymore but my parents arranged for me to go to Jacob's house and spend the night. I really didn't want to go.... but my parents had made up their minds, and I went. As soon as Jacob and I were alone, he stood in front of his door and took out his erect penis and said that I could "suck it if I wanted to" and he wouldn't tell. There was absolutely nothing leading up to this, it just happened and that's why I think Jacob knew that my parents thought I was gay.
I declined to suck him, Jacob then offered to suck me, I declined for him to do it to me. He asked again later that night, if I was sure. I'm pretty sure he started jacking off that night around midnight in the same room with me and then asked if I was awake. I was but pretended to be asleep. Timothy never ever tried to get me to do anything sexual with him, never exposed himself to me so it was ironic that the friend my parents wanted to replace Timothy with Jacob because he was a better example of how I should be...but he ended up being gay himself.
Anonymous
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
-
Starting when we were just babies, there were two other boys in our block that were the same age as me. We were together all the time not... -
Dave brings us this story from his youth. I believe it is best to let the story serve as testament to his affection for someone he cherished...
I think there are a few conversations and points to be made about this story. Of course we all wanna view the parents as the "Bad guys" since they were so intent on getting Tim out of the author's life. In all fairness parents often have no clue to who their child might actually be, and they were truly blind to their son's exquisite judge of character.
ReplyDeleteThat's my 2 cents. And loved the story, thanks for sharing.
Eric
So, how do you think this author found OOTS, and what would he be doing reading the content of a blog like this? Maybe his parents were at least a little bit right?
ReplyDeleteOkay, so it appears we have one vote in support of the parents being correct. (I'd hate to be your kid.)
DeleteBut if I may answer your initial question, how the author found our blog. By the way, I've never pressed that question to any reader or author, some choose to state how, but it's not that important. We are however linked from the site BoyLinks, which has a great degree of prominence with most search engines. They offer a wide degree of topics and website links dealing with all manner of topics related to Boys. Including such issues as Coming of Age,and support for guys delving into their own sexual identification. Including some topics and sites that are pretty sensitive, that a lot of folks might not accept easily.
But there are a multitude of self discovery items to be covered there too.
One angle I might infer, might be if the Author is a parent or considering parenthood and he wants to be sure he has a good working knowledge of how to address Sexual identity issues with his kid(s).
Overall I feel the author poses some good discussion topics. Yours seemed harshly slanted to me, but perhaps others might ask the same burning questions.
**I do not feel it is the author's duty to reply on this one though.
This has to be examined from two directions.
ReplyDeleteFirst, let's give these parents credit. I believe they loved their son and wanted only the best for him. Therefore they attempted to "save" him from a terrible fate.
The other side of this issue is that the parents (and their religion) were terribly uninformed about homosexuality and how it "spreads." They are guilty of ignorance and of misunderstanding the Bible and the social climate that surrounded its teachings. Their well-intentioned efforts may have inflicted lasting psychological damage on their son.
I could go on for pages. But having said that much, I'm going to stop. All of us who grew up in very conservative churches know that it is impossible to have a logical debate with anyone who believes homosexuality is a sin and/or choice.
Regi
Amen brother!
DeleteThe writer sure had a good friend in Tim, sux that they were pushed apart by rents.
ReplyDeleteUgh, I can't imagine being 12-14, and dealing with your parents thinking you're Gay....Poor kid. Being a teen is hard enough, much less with parents trying to control who your friends are and not trusting you.
ReplyDeleteI liked reading this, and I feel for the writer.
Haven't we missed the point of the story? While we are talking about parental interference and religious bigotry, the real topic was that the parents misjudged both of the other boys. They were afraid of the ballet boy, yet he was not seeking sexual contact. But the jock they sent into the game as a safe replacement WAS. Oopsie! Mom and Pop were dead wrong on both counts. Probably each of us has been wrong about somebody that we judged on first appearances. I know I've been.
ReplyDeleteAbout misjudging other boys, I remember when I was a kid, even though I was messing around sexually with a few boys, there were some boys, like Tim, that my developing gaydar warned me to stay far away from. Those boy may or may not have actually been gay, but by how the looked or acted you did not want to be thought of as being their friend. I shared my private parts only with other boys who did not in any way act like Tim. (One of those boys in my class that my gaydar told me to avoid? He died of AIDS before he reached age 30.)
DeleteBy the way, I know we have drifted off topic slightly here and there, but it all ties into the story and the lasting effect of such friendships.
ReplyDeleteDon't be embarrassed, keep the comments coming.
Eric
Allow me to make a ton of assumptions here, first off I think we can all agree that based on how Tim is described he is most likely gay. As for the author remember that sexual orientation is on a continuum. Most straight people have a per cent of gay and most gay have a portion of straight. It is not common for someone to be 100 per cent gay or straight but let me just assume that because the author reads this blog that even if he is straight he has a higher percentage of gay than average.
ReplyDeleteHe states that nothing ever happened between he and Tim but I submit to you that nothing happened because there was only ONE sleepover and it was closely monitored. I can't imagine two boys, one gay and one leaning gay that they would not have fooled around if given the opportunity. I believe that the reason the author didn't take Jacob up on his offer was that he wasn't attracted to him. Jacob was the opposite of Tim, a guy who is attracted to an effeminate, short, and thin guy probably won't be attracted to 6 foot tall, muscular jock.
I think that if Tim and not Jacob would have stood at the door, took his dick out and said that the author could "suck it if he wanted to". The author would have been on his knees faster than you could say "Out of The Shadows".
Very well stated.
DeleteI agree.
Scott
We had a series of comments from a user in a condensed time-frame whose comments all had a consistently rough form of English language. I was tempted to delete this one and avoid the odd descriptors to be on our blog. However I am allowing it although it is rather abrupt, the reader wants to express his thoughts, so here it is unedited.
ReplyDeleteI've know gay boys that could make Arnold Schwarzenegger look gay. And I've known straight people that could make a drag queen look straight.
ReplyDeleteDON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.