A Process that Resembles Milking a Cow

Some of us are old enough to remember when any talk of masturbation was completely unspoken. No referenced it on TV, not the slightest hint ever spoken. It was a forbidden topic.

As a high school sophomore I did a biology project about the X and Y chromosomes and how the sex of a child was determined at conception. That was dangerous territory because it hinted at what the father and mother did to conceive a child. However, my teacher (a mature woman) kept a straight face and guided my research. The job took some library work to come up with articles to use as documentation in the bibliography.

I was standing between rows of shelves in the city library, speed-reading a scholarly paper in a collection of bound journals. It described how researchers examined semen to determine how many viable sperm were in a person's sample.

In reading those particular words which that have stuck with me for the rest of my life, the article stated, "Semen is obtained in a doctor's office by means of a procedure that resembles milking a cow."

I read that sentence again and again, and couldn't help snickering to myself. "Resembles milking a cow!" They mean JACKING OFF! The authors could not use the word "masturbation" or any similar term. But I had been jacking for a couple of years by then and knew exactly what they meant. I had a wicked picture in my mind of standing in my doctor's examining room with my boner poking out while jacking off to deposit a "sample" on a microscope slide!

I still get a laugh when I remember that silly statement printed in a scholarly journal. Needless to say, I could not use that quotation in my project!

Anonymous